PhilidelphiaThis is Not a Kiss
by darkangel-silvermoon
Summary: WARNING: DIRECT SPOILER to "LAUREN" EPISODE.  This is how the team deals.  Can be slash or just another comfort fic...Please make my day and Review.Thank you in advance.


**I had to try one...I'm not sure if this is going to work.**

**WARNING: Direct spoiler for "Lauren" episode.**

**This is one of those sh***y weeks, so make my day, please?**

**Tell me what you think of this fic. I'd really like to know.**

The jet is quiet.

J.J grips her sides tight, as if she doesn't she just might fall to pieces right there.

Rossi fiddles with his ring, brows furrowed in concentration. Garica rocks and hums to herself, trying to block out the images floating in her head. Hotch stares off into space, face drawn in a frown. This was not supposed to happen to his team. This was supposed to happen to other people. They've already lost so much.

Why her? Why now?

Morgan lies on his side, headphones blaring as his eyes glaze over. Reid's curled into a ball, facing the back of the love seat.

After a while, Morgan pulls himself to the surface and his heart stops.

Reid's body's racked with silent sobs, spine curved so painfully so. Reid can't escape this.  
Morgan's been here before with Reid and it's so hard to pull him out.

How can Morgan even attempt to help Reid when he feels just as broken?

Morgan scoots next to Reid, a firm hand gripping Reid's bicep. Reid jerks as if burned, threatening to tip off the couch in his attempts to avoid the contact.

It's too much too fast.

J.J.'s leaving, the replacement, the headaches, now this?

How is anyone supposed to recover from this?

It's as if the cosmos is _TRYING _to tear the family apart.

"Reid!" Morgan hisses as Reid scratches him in his attempts to push him away. "Pretty Boy, Come on. It's okay."Morgan's voice is gentle, and that seems to do it for Reid. Reid's eyes focus a little at the moniker.

"Come on Pretty Boy, look at me. That's it. There's those gorgeous eyes." Morgan murmurs, slightly aware that the team _has_ to be staring by now. It doesn't matter.

Morgan sits up straight, pulling Reid into his lap. Reid sinks into the warm touch of Morgan, a small squeak escaping his throat. Morgan wraps his arms around Reid's waist, laying his head against the erratic beat of Reid's heart.

Reid's body trembles in the strain holding back as he grips Morgan tighter than ever before. He need an anchor, something to hold on to save himself from the grief threatening to wash over him, pulling him under.

"Morgan!" Reid keens, scrabbling to bury himself deep into Morgan's skin, and Morgan accepts this, fingering the soft skin under Reid's shirt, his neck exposed.

"Shhh...I know. She knew that you loved her. Trust me kid, she knew." Morgan whispers as he rocks Reid back and forth.

"b-but she...I didn't...I d-didn't get t-to say goodbye! I never get to say goodbye!" Reid hollers.

Morgan forgets how young Reid really is sometimes.

He wipes away Reid's tears.

"I know." Morgan's at a loss of words.

What do you say to something like that?

At least Morgan was there at the very end.  
_Her life threaded through his fingers. She slipped through his grasp. He wouldn't let the same happen to Reid. Not if he could help it._

"Morgan?" Reid gasps, clawing at his shoulders for purchase. Reid presses his lips to Morgan in askance.

_Can_ _you please let me in? I need something to hold on to. Something to keep me here. Please Morgan._

And Morgan lets him.

They've been here before.

This is not a kiss. This is open mouthed reassurance. They are here. They are real. They are alive. They need something to hold onto. They need the bruising weight, the crushing of lips. The gnashing of teeth. The sharp breathes and the fluttering pulse. They are friends. They are brothers. They are everything and nothing. Trying to hold on. Trying to let go. Trying to remember. Trying to forget. Trying to get lost in the sensations that they are able to give each other.

Morgan gives Reid...everything in these short moments.

His vulnerability, his insecurity, his weakness, his strength, his power...his being.

And Reid does the same.

Everyone looks away respectfully. They all need it. In whatever form it may come.

Reid pulls away for air, not that he wants to. He clings to Morgan, leans into the yielding skin as their chest rise and falls, hearts kicking in their chests.

The tendrils of grief wrap around their hearts, binding them together. They've been here before. Reid lays his head on Morgan's chest and Morgan strokes Reid's hair.

Reid closes his eyes, familiar with Morgan's body. Thankful.

Morgan lies Reid down, spooning against him, holding him tight to his body.

Reid sighs in relief.

Reid is not broken, he's just seriously under repair.

Morgan looks over to catch Hotch's gaze. Hotch nods. Hotch understands. Morgan gives a slight smile.

_It's okay._

_It has to be. _

_**A/N: The cemetery was so beautiful this morning...the dust of fresh snow swirling against the headstones. The trees huddled together, struggling to catch sight of the sickly sun, the clouds hanging heavy in grief. It was breathtaking. That's what made me write the fic. I wasn't going to, but I had to.**_

_**Thank you for your time.**_

_**Please, tell me what you thought of the fic, I'd really appreciate it.**_


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